Don't Let Your Comfort Zone Be Your Cage
This sentence jumped out at me while reading Brianna Wiest’s book, The Pivot Year. It was one of those sentences that found its way to me and stuck. If you have been reading my content over the past few years you’ll know getting out of a comfort zone has been a recurring theme in my writing.
It came to me again recently during a lunch I had with an acquaintance. She had recently become a widow, and while she is a little older than I am so in a different season of life, the truth is, she is still in a new season of learning to be on her own, living alone, and finding peace, contentment and happiness in a new life that was not planned or expected.
During our past meetings, we had talked about doing new things and navigating this new life. We compared some of our experiences in this new season and, especially, doing things outside of our comfort zones, some by force and others by choice.
As humans we want to be comfortable.
There’s a part of me that just wants to be comfortable and content. I want to know what I am doing every day. To be confident in handling work situations, choices in my everyday life and be able to predict my week and months. One of the biggest struggles I had when things changed in my life was not knowing where or how I would be in five years, ten years, etc. I liked having a plan and knowing how to follow that plan. Getting out of my comfort zone had not necessarily been part of that plan.
Then, I recall a particular time in my career when I DID know what I was doing each day. I knew how to handle any of the cases that came across my desk. I got it. After a while I began to feel stagnant and bored. I wasn’t challenged and began to dread going to work each day. I was stuck and didn’t have anywhere to go or grow. That is not a good place to remain. So, I bit the bullet and moved into another position where I was absolutely clueless and had to begin from the bottom and learn all new things.
Now I will admit that I was young at the time, and that’s the nature of how things should be right? When we are young we are supposed to learn and grow and figure things out. Then, at some point in our lives, we feel as if we are too old to learn new things or that we are too old to put ourselves in uncomfortable situations. This could not be farther from the truth. Whether it is because we now have extra time, without children underfoot or maybe less work stress, we can try something new, learn a new skill or hobby or find a different interest. We can challenge ourselves in a way that keeps us from being stagnant or stuck.
Over the past few years I’ve been thrown into some “new” situations that I surely would not have chosen for myself. They fall into the category of being forced to get out of my comfort zone. In other areas, I’ve actually chosen to put myself into some uncomfortable spots and make myself get to the other side. I think choosing to do some new, uncomfortable things is just as important for our resilience and life experience as being forced.
Whether it’s walking into a room without knowing a single soul, writing an email that I have to re-read 12 times before hitting send, or making myself do pull-ups at the gym (where people might actually see me fail), I’m still here. I also know, from lots of experience, that every one of the small wins makes it easier for the next uncomfortable situation or challenge. (you’ll note that I haven’t mentioned eating dinner alone in a restaurant because I still haven’t forced myself to do that one. That one is a big hang-up of mine for some reason!).
One of the things that inspires me is hearing about the pivots and changes people make during their “second” season in life. While the background bringing about the pivots may not be ideal, I know, the outcome of the growth, the pride, and the accomplishment always inspire me. It may be stepping into new territory for a health and wellness journey, filling a gap with volunteer work, signing up for a mission trip, going back to work after a hiatus or taking on an entirely new career path. This is just the tip of the iceberg on the pivots and challenges we can face. And whether it appears small on the outside, it can be huge to the person making the step. Those small steps are a wonderful foundation for the next step.
All those steps build our inner strength, confidence, and resilience. They help us be interesting, interested in our life, and add to our wellbeing and longevity.
Live Well! 💚
Thank you for being here! If this speaks to you or someone you know, please share 💚
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I’m definitely not encouraging you to go skydiving, but it was one of my favorite “outside the comfort zone” days! (As a lawyer, and wiser person now, not sure I’d do it again (: )
We made it!
This is one of my first public speaking events. It was completely out of my comfort zone - and I don’t think I was particularly good, but I got it under my belt and had a great time! It made the next much easier!