At Least I'm Not Throwing Up. . . a family motto

At Least I’m Not Throwing Up

This became our family motto/mantra when the boys were little.  Years later, I still rely on it and its message for the story behind it, for the memory and for what it stands for.

Before I go into the history, I want to preface by saying that I think how we learn to handle life’s curve balls and unwanted events determine so much about the direction of our life and the life we experience.  I am basically a positive person.  Seeing the glass half full has been bred in me from the minute I opened my eyes.  I’m not sure why but I’m certain it has something to do with my childhood and those who raised me.  My mother, while not an overly peppy person, always chose to face obstacles head on, with grace and strength (and a pack of cigarettes, but that’s for another day).   Less serious, my dad chose to find the fun and the joke in the day.  He came home from work every single day with a new joke to tell.  He was also the one who knew what to say at the small town funeral to break the ice and make you chuckle. 

I think spending my childhood in a small town added to that positive outlook.   Growing up in my South Georgia small town, I was allowed, or forced, to experience things.  I was not protected from illness, hardship and death.  If a friend of my grandparents, parents or one of my dad’s clients passed away, we went to the funeral.  We took the casserole and sat in the living room. The grown ups talked and shared memories and I listened.  My parents talked openly around me and to me about what was going on with their friends and family in our small community.  I was not sheltered or told to go to my room.  I absorbed it all.  There was a lot of pain and loss and grief in my small town while I was growing up.  I saw my parents grieve best friends, parents, siblings and children, honor loss, attend to friends, and find ways to carry on.   

I realized later in life that not hiding the hard parts of life was a gift from my parents.  Learning to appreciate the good times, learning empathy for those hurting and seeing the love and kindness shown to others during pain and loss gave me an understanding, an appreciation and a resilience that I would need later on.

Knowing that I do share positive messages, I don’t ever want to come across as a sort of toxic positivity.  Believe me, I know it’s not all rainbows and unicorns.  And that saying that “it could always be worse” is not my message.  Of course, it could be worse.  Who and what does it help to think how the painful could be even more so?   Looking at the hard things with truth and honesty, feeling the hurt and pain, knowing that the hurt and pain may be there for a very long time and not running from it, still finding a way to get up, make a breakfast, love on those around you and, eventually, find your own reason to smile,  is the positive message I want to bring.  

If you are wondering about our family mantra, I’ll share it, in a nutshell, here. 

Let me begin by saying that my family, meaning my family of five which is my three sons, their dad and I,  are not snow skiers.  We tended to spend our vacations and Spring Breaks where it was warm and tropical (and where there was a family home with a generous offer of free lodging).  Except for the one time we decided to go skiing. . .

I won’t go into many of the details, but will say that on the second day, during lunch before our adventure of the day, a snowmobile outing, the third son, who was about 4 years old at the time, projectile vomited his entire lunch of cheeseburger and fries all over our lunch table.  Although, as typical for moms, I think it only covered my lunch. . . which was fine since I would be the one to lift him up and scurry him to the restroom to do my best at cleaning him up with bathroom paper towels.  Anyway, after the lunch and a long and (didn’t I already say adventurous)  day of snowmobiling, which also included one of us and a son completely sinking the snowmobile in over head high snow and having to call the rescue folks, but I digress . . .

 That night, after surviving the lunch and snowmobile trauma, we began searching for dinner.  We were walking through the little town, cold, hungry, exhausted and all of those other adjectives you can imagine.  The third son was pretty happy perched on his dad’s shoulders while his older brothers trudged along, grumbling, complaining and whining about what a terrible time it was, they just wanted to eat, how they wished they were at home . . .and you get the picture. 

Finally, my husband had probably had enough and said something to quiet the complaining.  Then, out of the blue, from the top of his dad’s shoulders, in that clear little boy voice, the Third Son said,

“Well, at least I’m not throwing up!”

to which we all stopped, looked around, forgot the tiredness, the cold, the whole “this is the worst night ever” thoughts and started laughing.  And that’s how this family motto began. 

Seriously, it’s great isn’t it?  It’s comic relief in a stressful, overwrought situation, it’s definitely a glass half full kind of thinking and, lastly, who likes throwing up? No one.  It basically hits all the points that a positive message needs to without being “too” positive.  That makes it the perfect family mantra.

When I think of this, all I can think of is that God knew that this little family and these little boys would need a positive mantra to turn to, to bring them together.   Later, we would need this positive mantra and story to help remember the times when things were good, and stable and recall when there were shoulders to support their weight.  The words from a four year old can remind us of the importance of keeping hope and optimism as the focus for our experiences and the future.

I share this, not to overlook whatever hardship you may be experiencing, but to let you know you can get up, make  the breakfast, love on your people, and eventually find a reason to smile.  You may have your own family stories and sayings that you can turn to, or you may find yourself creating one of your own.  I hope you’ll have a story behind it to share.

So, what about you? I’d  love to know your own and your story.

 Live Well!

M-D💚