I feel like I am always figuring something out.

When I settle on one thing, and have it figured out, something else crops up. Or it all changes and I’m back to “figuring out” again.

I’m still figuring out the beginning to a New Year and this ever-changing Season of Life.

I am figuring out the things I am changing, what small tweaks to make, the things I’m continuing to do, different habits and new rituals I’d like to begin. It is all a process and always unfolding. A few of the things I’m continuing to figure out. . .

This changing vessel that allows me to go through life moving, walking, running, carrying and doing all the physical things I want and need to do. . .

I’ve always said that our bodies are science experiments, and I’m definitely working on some new experimenting now. Personally, this new, midlife season and some of the changes are taking some figuring out.I hear and read all the specific things the experts are telling me I need to do to feel my best (I think the algorithm is really force feeding far too much information my way.!) Over the last year, I really worked on sleep and figuring out what worked for me to actually get more than 4-5 hours a night. So, after a lot of trial and error, I have gotten a good night time ritual that has made a BIG difference. If you are interested, in a nutshell, the best nights are when I eat early, have no alcohol, sauna, shower, get in bed by 9:00pm (I know, I know, so don’t shoot the messenger), put away the phone and laptop and read a physical book, turning out the light by 10 pm. And sometimes even earlier.

Very exciting life I’m living over here. . . but boy do I feel better in the mornings and in the following afternoons.

I am continuing to work on keeping strength and becoming stronger (which is personally more fun than cardio anyway) and then next on the agenda, is figuring out tweaks for my nutrition. Everyone is in my (our) ears telling us how much more protein we need to eat. I know I truly fail at this. Starting this month, I’m doing a challenge to up my protein every day. If I’m honest, most days I top at 50-60 grams of protein. I’m working on doubling that. This is more of me trying to figure out what works/feels best for me. It’s been all of 8 days, but I can already feel a difference. . . .

Parenting:

Spending time with adult children is such a gift. It’s so much fun. They entertain me, surprise me, educate me and, yes, they laugh at me, but that’s okay. Being the only parent has not been easy. I’ve often second guessed myself, worried and fretted over doing and saying the wrong thing and making a mistake. Early on I was given some wise advice on this worry- I was counseled to be ONE thing to these young men – a mom. Meaning, it was not my job to be also a father, coach, mentor, guide, or all the other roles I felt compelled to take on. It was wonderful advice and allowed me to focus on being the one thing God gave me. From there I can say, while still not easy and I’ve been blessed with good friends who have been there and taken the time to listen to me and support me with being the only parent. But I can honestly say this is a wonderful season and one I’m loving as I continue to figure out how to be the best mom I can and how to make the most out of this time.

Purpose:

Working with clients, we spend a lot of time talking about this topic and discovering what is, what was, how this can change and ways to find new purposes on the horizon.

Lately, I’ve been considering a lot about my purpose. I think we all need a purpose, a reason to put our feet on the floor. I’ve known this for years and it’s something I’ve always considered.

There was a time when I thought purpose had to be something big and splashy. Something that was “it” and made you “who you are”. Maybe that’s right, for some people. It’s definitely not for everyone. I also have learned that we all can have different purposes during different seasons of life. Think about your own seasons, and where your focus, your gifts and your passions were during those times. They can change every five years and can even change within one year.

I think I’m in one of those seasons where my purpose has or is changing. I am feeling more settled and content these days. I don’t feel as if I have this big, huge purpose. In some ways, since I am a self-confessed goalsetter or looking for “ways to improve junkie”, I was feeling a bit “behind” since I didn’t have something new, or different or even inspired on the agenda. However, on the other hand, I’m okay with it and letting something new, in this season, come as it will.

Today while I was driving, something hit me. I thought of what I really want to be. Right now. It has taken a while but I have no idea what is in store in 6 months, or five years from now. And I’m okay with that, too. So, what is the purpose now? What can I continue to figure out as far as purpose now? For me, finding strength and finding joy are always at the top of my list. I tend to always go back to those two ways of being. So, my “aha” moment while driving was that I can fall back on this as purpose. To be, to celebrate, to share, to find ways to incorporate strength and joy into the days. And to be open and content to where I am at this very moment, today.

Recently, I read the below from The Pivot Year by Brianna Wiest. Since I read it, I basically go back and re-read it every morning. It hit me that much. So now I am trying to figure out a way to marinate on this - contentment, strength, and joy. These days I am figuring out ways to experience each.