For some reason this has been on my mind, so I typed this out a while back but just sat on it. I’ve been pretty quiet on my sharing lately, so thought I’d dust this off and share with you all.

Before I say another word, let me preface that this post is NOT just for the single ladies. At all.

In fact, I am writing about things I wish I had known much sooner, as a younger woman, as one beginning work and becoming independent, as a newly married woman, as a mother, and long before I became a single woman and mother.

I am going to list these in no particular order. Some I may elaborate on and others will likely speak for themselves.

Here goes.

I have learned to/learned:

Become more independent.

Become more self-aware.

How to ask for, welcome and appreciate help from others.

How to buy a car. This one took quite some time and a couple of veeerryyy painful mistakes.

How to ask more questions (and not worry about sounding silly, stupid or “like a woman”)

Own my mistakes and learn from them. I spent a lot of time worrying about making mistakes and frightened of making them. I learned it was really arrogant, and ridiculous, of me to imagine that I would not make mistakes. I did and I am sorry about the ones I made.

Be patient and trust. God moves in His own time. Sometimes He is painfully slow and our only job is to sit and wait on Him. And trust. And wait some more.

Be an advocate for myself. This one has been difficult. I am a people pleaser to the core. I am also “a nice Southern girl” so was not taught this practice. I wish I had been. This is one of those things that I would teach my daughter if I had one. Hopefully, I can teach a granddaughter (:.

Buy and sell a house (with an awesome agent, of course) but also with all of the negotiations, dealings, finagling, logistics, upheaval, packing and moving and unpacking . . .

That I wish I knew how to change a tire. My dad missed teaching me that one, even though he taught me to drive a car at age 10, shoot a gun at 8 and skin a deer. . .

Speaking of my dad, I wish he had educated me more on finances. It was a family joke that I could not balance my check book, and later I glossed over really understanding real finances. Big mistake. I’m making up for that now and it’s not a lot of fun.

With a little patience, a lot of googling, and asking advice from others smarter than I am, I can figure anything out.

Do hard things. I think many of us learn this at some point. Hopefully, you will find those to share and support you during the hard things. Learning to do and withstand the hard times doesn’t make the next ones any less painful, but you learn to adapt easier.

Be responsible for my own happiness and joy. Honestly, I learned this before I became single, but I think it has been cemented even more. There are so many things that bring me happiness and joy. When I was younger, beginning life as a new bride, being a wife, becoming a mother, and having our family brought me unspeakable happiness and deep joy. However, I have come to learn that while these things are wonderful gifts of life, I cannot depend on these things or other people to make me happy. They can bring me happiness, of course, and like I said, absolutely do. But life brings change. Children will build lives of their own. Even those loved ones closest to you can disappear. Depending on others and outside or superficial things can bring enjoyment and can make you happy in the moment, but the kind of real happiness and peace and joy that lasts is up to me. (And I think this one can be particularly difficult for so many reasons. As mothers we place so much of our identity and happiness on how our children are. As women we turn our focus on being nurturers, caregivers, doers and shakers and to check all the boxes, ensure it all gets done, and make sure everyone is taken care of. . . then when those roles change, we have to adapt once again. . . )

This can be a hard lesson for many of us. It is easy to get caught up living and being in relationships, being a wife, mom and caregiver, and when that is stripped away. . . we have to go back to our roots. For me, I had to remember that, at the end of the day, my happiness and joy are my responsibility. And it’s important. Living a full, vibrant and joyful life is up to me and is up to each of us.

These are only some of the things I’ve learned in the last three years. I’m sure I’ll continue learning and, hopefully growing. I still haven’t tackled sitting in a restaurant by myself, but that one is on the list.

**And I have to add that over the weekend, while in the mountains, I removed a ginormous DISGUSTING dead rat from the toilet . . . which I honestly thought would totally “do me in”. But I survived.

Not that I ever needed or wanted that skill, or think any of you will either, but there’s that. . .

Do you have things you learned at different times in your life? Things you wish you had learned, things you want to teach your daughters differently?

Most of all. . .

Live Well!

M-D💚