I seem to hear more people speak of being stuck. Maybe it’s that I’m more intuned to it, or it’s the season of life or maybe it’s because we’ve all been in a global pandemic for a year. So, of course, we all might be feeling a little stuck.
I definitely know the feeling of being stuck and working through that feeling and place. If you feel like you may be stuck I want to flip the switch and give you another way to look at it.
Maybe you aren’t stuck. You may be simply sitting in a place and processing.
You could be forming ideas and options that are necessary for any type of change, whether big or small. We seem to get this idea that we are supposed to know exactly what we want and how to create “the life of our dreams” and create that change at any time in our life.
Yes, we have been given skills and education. There are a million books, YouTube videos, inspirational quotes and methods to push us and help us make a change. That is a good thing. However, any time we take a step into new territory it is a big deal. It can be a process. It can take some time to determine exactly where we want that step to take us, how to get there and learn enough to know what to do when we begin a new thing.
Getting clarity on what it is you actually want, gaining confidence, learning a new skill and all that comes with making new decisions takes time and energy and thought. I think it’s important not to beat yourself up and think of this “forming” time as being stuck. Maybe you are doing all the important groundwork to get yourself to a new point.
Here’s another thing to think about. Some people are better at change than others. Some people love change and are able to embrace the newness and ride smoothly into the new landscape while others put on the brakes and really struggle. If change is hard for you and you know that about yourself then you know you have to make a plan, get your head into a new space and do what you need to do to take those new steps.
- If you want to get healthier
- If you want a new job
- If you want to make new friends
- If you want to learn a new skill/hobby
- If you want to become more resilient
Whatever it is that you decide you want or need. If you are feeling stuck the first thing to not do is compare yourself to anyone else. I’ll bet that your destination is completely different from that person down the street or in the book you are reading or that social media feed you are comparing yourself to. Let’s all just stay in our own lanes.
Next, take the time to shut out the outside noise and sit still. Gather your thoughts as to where it is you want to go. Make your plan. Begin to learn the new skill, clear the clutter, gain the confidence in your capabilities. Ask questions. And start right there. You don’t have to know every next step and turn. You build your resilience and learn new skillsets each time you take one step or make one decision. Again, remember, that step may not look like much and may not be a physical step. But it is you not being stuck. It’s strength + resilience + courage. We can all do this.
Also, here are three questions that can be extremely helpful. Write these down. (There is science behind taking pen to paper as opposed to simply reading)
- What do I want to accomplish?
- Who can help me?
- When do I want/need to have it completed?
I have found this to be so helpful. Believe me, I’ve been there. Next time you think you may be stuck, I hope you come back to this, or share with someone who thinks they may be.
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