Here’s my question for you for the week. Where did you fail? What did you do wrong? Where did you make a mistake?
I’m not here to make you feel bad. There’s a reason for these questions. With all of the beautiful people on social media and perfectly curated photos out there these days, there is the perception that there are all these folks out there who are always getting it right. We are bombarded with perfectly highlighted photos of homes intricately and intimately decorated, photos of children with soft beautiful filters embracing, smiling, sleeping or learning around a curated Serena and Lily kitchen table or we listen to personal development influencers telling us exactly what we need to be doing or not do which touches on the very nerve that makes us jump out of our seat. It can cause us to freeze in fear of not being or moving perfectly. So, we might just sit in a state of indecision thinking that is better than to feel as if we have been doing – or not doing – it all wrong all along.
I’m exhausted just thinking about it.
Which brings me to my confession. And there is a point to this, I promise. Over the past 2-3 years I spent a lot of time (I mean a lot of time) so worried about making the wrong decision that sometimes I made no decision at all. I spent a lot of time afraid and frozen. That is not a good place to be because no decision is actually a decision. Read that again.
In simpler terms, think of it like this. If a friend asks you to lunch and you can’t decide to go or not go and the time passes and you have made no decision, well, then you did make a decision. You did not go so that was your decision.
Being stuck and frozen is a decision. Anyone can be stuck. Right? Anyone can sit in the land of indecision and stay with the familiar. The decision to not make a decision can lead one to stay in a horrible situation, a toxic relationship, a dead end job, not pursue a dream, hold on to bitterness or sit in fear of taking that one step . . .
Moving forward means just that. Moving. Sometimes in order to make that move, we make a mistake. We say the wrong thing, allow a wrong move, let someone down. And that’s okay. A mistake or a wrong word or a mishandled situation does not mean you made a life long wrong, are not a good person, thoughtless or an idiot. None of those things. It means you are human.
Maybe weren’t the best possible parent on Wednesday. But you rock it on Thursday. Maybe you didn’t hit all cylinders at work on Monday, but were on your game the rest of the week. Perhaps you are making big decisions and are in a stressful season of life so you may not have handled one area of your life or relationship perfectly. Again, it simply means you are human.
If you are fearful of moving forward or taking steps to get unstuck try to remember
- The beautiful thing about humans is that we are a forgiving lot of people.
- Most people do not think of or notice your mistakes or misteps.
- We do not learn or grow without mistakes.
- Remember No. 1.
Fear is a terrible trap. Anxiety over doing things perfectly is incredibly unhealthy. If you are afraid of getting it wrong, not for yourself, but for those who depend on you, I get it. That’s a biggie and I know that pain. So maybe start with one little thing. A small choice that brings small movement. When you begin to put small choices together you will see yourself coming out of the mud. Moving in smaller increments helps build confidence as well as allow you to see some outcomes of getting unstuck.
There are so many changes happening around us right now. Living through this pandemic has forced many people to make business changes and financial decisions they would never have dreamed of. Others are making changes and re-thinking things perhaps not from force, but from seeing things differently and learning to adapt.
Whether from the pandemic or simply life, there are those who remain stuck for different reasons. I’ve heard the saying, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know.” That can always be a reason to stay. It’s familiar. It’s a known, even if it isn’t any good.
But what if what you don’t know is eventually good, or much better and brings peace? Isn’t it worth making a choice to get unstuck? To be one of those other people.
I saw this photo posted by Mel Robbins yesterday and thought it would be timely to include here. Whatever mountain you may have, don’t let the thought of it overwhelm you into inaction or indecision. Remember those small choices I mentioned? Just think small – move a rock or two. That’s all. That’s how you become one of those people. Don’t be anyone. You can become unstuck.
I hope you have a great week!
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