I’m coming clean here. In fact, I’m already getting a bit squirmy thinking about hitting the “submit” button.
Recently, I was involved in a photo session for a fitness studio where I love to teach. (Check out WestCoastWorkout for a great experience!) This is out of my comfort zone to begin with. I have never been really comfortable in front of the camera. I can look like such a goober and I absolutely know that about myself. And because of some things going on in my personal life I have not been on my health and clean eating game and not doing the best job of taking care of myself. I shared that Here. I have not been teaching classes or working out as much as I would like. I’m spending more days sitting at a desk trying to remember how to practice law (;.
Therefore, when I saw some of the photos I could only see one thing.
When you look at this photo you may see (and think) one of three things.
- You don’t see anything wrong with this photo. If that’s the case, Bless You!
- You think, wow, M-D, you need to lay off the cheeseburgers OR
- Wow. She’s got that muffin thing going on just like I do. So, I’m feeling ok in my skin (or tank).
In my earlier years, I know exactly. which of the three I might have been thinking – especially about myself. I’ve always been just a wee bit hard on myself and never quite satisfied with the physical appearance of things. So, imagine that younger self now into the fifties. Sigh.
I have never had good body confidence. I didn’t have it when I was young wearing a highschool cheerleading uniform. I didn’t have it when I lost that freshman college weight. I didn’t even have it when I was at my leanest and could totally rock that two piece.
Now that I have this all out in the open, the question is what to do about this? First of all, I am sharing it right here so that’s another way for me to get out of my comfort zone. Next, I’ve decided to NOT beat myself up. NOT hide. NOT compare myself to others. NOT apologize.
For this moment, it is what it is.
We all have times in our lives we want to be at our best. Things like a wedding day, or a child’s wedding day, a beach vacation or when you compete in that fitness or bikini competition (;! We all know what to eat and not eat, what to sacrifice and do – and if we don’t then, hopefully, we know there are folks out there who have good, healthy advice to help. I know what I need to do to be leaner and feel better in my own skin. For now, I’ve been living life with other goals in mind.
I’m not advocating mindless and needless weight gain. (Heck no! Please don’t take this the wrong way.) But I am advocating living life.
Maybe you are holding on to a little extra right now and that may bother you or may not bother you. That bit of extra might just be your life’s celebrations. Maybe it’s that extra glass of wine with your girlfriends, that date night out, that celebration dinner for graduation, birthday, anniversary or because that chemo round is over. It might be your vacation time. Whatever it is it means you are living life and celebrating and that’s a wonderful place to be in. Those are all gifts and we are not here to beat ourselves up and wear ourselves down.
I also advocate being healthy, fit and strong, feeling energized and confident. And here’s the truth:
I spent far too much of the first half of my life fretting and worrying about weight, the scale and “my middle”. That darn flat stomach and six pack do not come naturally to the Thomas side of my family! I cannot tell you how much mental space and energy went into that constant loop. Ridiculous and wasteful. I want to do a better job this second half of my life. I will not allow myself to define myself by that outward measure.
I know what to do and how to get a little leaner when I want. In fact, since that photo was taken I’ve done a better job of taking care of myself. I know that when we do make the time to take care of ourselves and make the choices that we know make us feel better, healthier and stronger, the rest seems to fall into place.
Cheers to living life!