This week I had to send out a hard email. I spent hours struggling and praying over the decision until I knew it was the right thing. I had made great plans and worked on this round of Better & Beyond to begin this week. I was striving to make it successful and full of support and accountability. However, I sent the hard email canceling this round and refunding each person’s payment.
This was something I hated doing from the bottom of my heart. I will go out of my way to keep my word. If I say I am going to do something it takes flood and fire to prevent me from showing up. However, if I say I’m going to show up I have to show up with my best. I mean, if you are going to do something, you might as well give it your very best, right? And if money is involved you know I don’t take that lightly either. Right now I know I would not give these clients and this program the time and attention they deserved. I am sorry. On the other hand, I was so thankful for the kind responses and understanding. It just goes to show we are all human and all have stuff. We can work together to build each other up, even when it is in business and with people you may not even know. What a gift that it.
I have experienced life’s valleys before. I have learned how to climb up the hill from the bottom and get out of the valley to the top. If you have had one of those valleys in your own life, I bet you have also found your own way to get up and out. We all handle things differently, but I know for a fact that one of the most important things to do is to keep going and not let whatever it is define you.
When you are in one of life’s valleys, whether it be a huge ravine or a simple hole, it’s important to dig out. You absolutely cannot allow yourself to stay down. It is important to think where you want to be. Imagine it. See it. Make it real in your mind. Visualization is a wonderful tool. I know some people create vision boards, or collect photos or pictures to capture their end goal. Personally, I put an image in my head and cement it there. When you get your vision of where you want to be, then the next step is to reverse engineer the steps to get you there. Think about those steps, that climb, the processes and you have a roadmap to guide your way up and out. If you get overwhelmed with the climb, you just have to stop and remember The Third son’s advice as he gave to me. “Just tackle it like you are eating an elephant. One bite at a time.”
Along the way I’ve also learned a few other tidbits that have truly helped. They are each so simple. I wish I had known these things all along and did not have to learn them the hard way. Maybe you can do a better job than I and get them right immediately.
There is power in just breathing.
I’ve heard this too often to count and it sounds so trite, but let me tell you it is a simple but saving practice. The easy act of breathing in and breathing out is pure magic. It slows you down. It calms you. It helps you stall rather than reacting. It helps get you over the initial shock, disappointment, frustration or all out about to kill someone anger. Whenever the text, phonecall or conversation strikes, simply learning to inhale and exhale is a powerful first step in handling whatever might come.
Wise folks accept help.
This one has been a hard fought struggle for me, but one that I have finally learned to grasp. Not without some kicking and screaming, mind you, but I have finally realized that I need help and there are people who genuinely want to help. It is a gift that we should receive. I remember a particularly stressful time a few years ago when my mom was really sick and I was out of town often to be with her. At the time my boys were wide open in school sports, dirtying numerous baskets of laundry on a daily basis, and always in need clean baseball pants. I remember being away from home for several days and absolutely dreading the laundry that would face me the minute I walked in my house. Do you know what I found? A completely clean house, and baskets of freshly cleaned laundry and scrubbed and bleached baseball pants! I think at the time I would not have dared ask for such help, but what a gift that was from sweet friends!
There is power in productivity.
This one os huge, ya’ll. Getting stuff done is crucial. If you are struggling, start the day with a list. Do one thing on the list and strike it off. Bam. You have moved forward for the day. It could be as small as taking a shower or making a phone call or as big as starting a new job. The point is that you are in control and you are taking the steps to get yourself from one place to another. If you can do another thing on the list that’s awesome. You will feel strong and like you are eating that darn elephant. Keep this up for each day and for each week. You will find yourself slowly and surely climbing up your mountain.
Sometimes being productive also means asking for help. If there is a task that needs to be done and you just cannot do it, then ask someone who can. After my dad died and it came time to sell and move out of our home my mom just couldn’t help. In particular, she could not clean out my dad’s clothes. So, I went home and unloaded his entire closet into the back of my SUV and made three trips to donate his clothes. That task was too overwhelming and emotional for my mom. It was big on the list and a huge weight gone when it was done. I was happy I could do that for her.
You can’t be grateful and anxious.
Each day, regardless of the season you are in, contain stressors, inconveniences and aggravations and some contain down right bombs. But even on your very worst day there is always something to be thankful for. It may be as small as that tasty cup of coffee, the sun on your face, a roof over your head or knowing your children are all tucked in bed. Focus on these things to help push the anxiety aside. In this day and age it would be easy to be anxious every single day – if we let ourselves. I have found that you just cannot be anxious and grateful at the same time. If this sounds too woo woo for you then just give it a try . . .
Know that you cannot do all things.
This might be the most important thing I’ve learned. You have to give yourself grace and give some things up. Recently, I’ve been away from this blog and not writing or sharing recipes, health and wellness as much as I like. I’ve also taken myself away from a lot of social media perusing, sharing and posting. That is definitely not a good business practice in building an online business and presence! This may mean that my small Instagram account may become even smaller and some of my email subscribers may forget about me. Sometimes, you just need to protect our energy, clarity, and keep some open margins in our brain space to be able to keep climbing. I think we are being wise when we do realize that we cannot be and do all at all times. We might need to switch gears or take detours. These can be temporary and when the time is right you can jump right back in or you may even find new and different routes to take. Remember, you have a goal in mind at the top of that mountain, so whatever takes you there, whatever gets you out of the valley and helps you continue to climb is what matters the most.
I appreciate those who were ready to jump in with the Better & Beyond program – continue making your healthy choices and I look forward to our next round.