Last night I went to a friend’s house for a lovely event. My friend hosted a book signing party for her friend who has recently written a book. It was very interesting and I loved meeting the author, hearing her story and learning about her process with her co-author. I came home last night and began reading the book, which is delightful. You’ll likely hear more about this later, but here is the book.
However, that isn’t really the reason for this post. The reason for this post is the food table at party. My friend had done a wonderful job of filling her dining room table with all sorts of delicious, homemade items, ranging from a creamy soup, macaroni and cheese, sandwiches and delightful iced Christmas cookies. She immediately told me there was only one healthy thing on the table! I eyed the fresh veggies and dip and figured that was it. I was totally okay with her delicious looking and decadent table. I took a few seconds to make my plan and happily reached for a beautiful snowflake sugar cookie. Let me tell you that cookie was just as delicious as beautiful. It was the perfect treat, tasted wonderful and left me happy. While my husband was happy feasting on the macaroni and cheese and others on croissants, I enjoyed a guilt free treat. I had my plan and it’s one I’m going to stick to throughout the Holiday so that I enjoy it but do not regret in January. And my plan has everything with recognizing whether I am an abstainer or a moderator.
If you are asking yourself what I am talking about, here it is:
You’re a moderator if you…
– find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure–and strengthens your resolve
– get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something
You’re an abstainer if you…
– have trouble stopping something once you’ve started
– aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits
You may have heard me talk about how much I love Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project and am a huge fan or the podcasts she creates with her sister, Elizabeth. In her books and podcasts, she approaches the idea of happiness in a methodical way and gives hints and hacks to increase personal happiness. Recognizing that everyone is different and that different things make different people happy is huge. A quiet afternoon with an old black and white movie, and my dog, make me ridiculously happy. A made bed makes me happy. Getting good exercise makes me happy. On the other hand, I don’t think The Husband gives a hoot about any of these things and gets no happiness at all in any. You may not either. That’s okay.
In order to live a healthier and happier life, Rubin believes we are all either abstainers or moderators and understanding which we are will help us lead a better life. If this is greek to you, this is what it means:
You’re a moderator if you…
– find that occasional indulgence heightens your pleasure–and strengthens your resolve
– get panicky at the thought of “never” getting or doing something
You’re an abstainer if you…
– have trouble stopping something once you’ve started
– aren’t tempted by things that you’ve decided are off-limits
You can read more and take the quiz HERE.
Many people can quickly place themselves in one camp or the other. If you can’t quite get the picture, think about it like this.
Moderators do better when they make moderate changes and do NOT take an all or nothing attitude towards something. Some people are happy and content to have one piece of chocolate in the evenings. Some people can play a mindless game on their phone for 15 minutes and easily shut it off. Moderators can also eat a couple of Lay’s potato chips and be done. However, if you told a moderator that any of these things were completely off limits that would be horrible.
Abstainers, on the other hand, need to take an all or nothing approach to an indulgence. In fact, the thought of indulging in something now and then is harder than avoiding it altogether. For example, I absolutely cannont moderately enjoy a Golden Oreo. It is just not possible. If by some chance I buy these and put them in my pantry I know that I am going to eat at least five at a time. I am incapable of eating only one. Do not ask me why. Do not ask me what control this light little cookie has over me. And, please, do not ask me the ingredients of this cookie because I know I cannot pronounce them and so definitely know it is processed crap and should be forever banned from my life. Let’s just say that I am the same way with cheese dip. I cannot enjoy one dip of a chip. So, for me, totally eliminating these things from my life is easier and less stressful than trying to simply indulge in it here and there.
Now there can be exceptions where people can be moderators, but have to be abstainers with certain things. Or there can be exceptions where an abstainer can enjoy something as a treat or an indulgence at a special occasion and move on. That was my plan last night. I am an abstainer about certain things, like certain sweets, but had a plan to indulge and not feel guilty. Knowing that I hadn’t been eating sweets on a daily basis and that I had been basically abstaining from them allowed me to indulge in what I wanted to, in what appealed to me, as a treat, and then move on. On the other hand, a moderator may have already enjoyed something earlier in the day or knew they would later, so may not have been as tempted to reach for a treat. Either way is good and either way is healthy as long as you know yourself and what works for you.
So, as you navigate through the endless parties, events and amount of treats coming your way, it may help to determine your own personality and whether you are an abstainer or moderator.
I also found a few other good tips on making it throughout the Holiday without gaining weight from Nerdfitness. The article has several tips but I liked this:
EVERY MEAL COUNTS! Just because you ate a crappy breakfast this morning does NOT mean the day is ruined. Just because you’re going to eat birthday cake this afternoon does NOT mean you get to say “**** it” and eat whatever the rest of the day.
If you’re going to eat ONE bad meal, that still gives you the opportunity to eat two really good meals.
If you are going to eat poorly, don’t also add in tons of liquid calories.
If you are going to eat a bad lunch and dinner, consider intermittent fasting the next day.
As soon as you eat ONE bad meal, the next meal becomes the most important meal of the week. One bad meal does not make you gain weight. It’s when that one bad meal is followed up by a week of bad meals that things get ugly realllly quickly. Eat a bad meal and move on!
I love this! Couldn’t have said it better myself!
We are one week into December. How are you feeling? How have you been navigating? If you haven’t gotten a plan I hope this gives you some ideas for making your own plan! Nobody wants to be miserable in January . . .
Enjoy Your Day!
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