Sometimes you just gotta have your “Go To People”. I don’t mean people to call on to do stuff or fix things. I mean the people you call when you want to talk. When you have something to share. It doesn’t have to be a big, stupendous thing. It could be something as mundane as what your crazy dog did lately, something a child said, a funny story, a news event or even the craziness surrounding our current presidential election. There is usually someone you think of immediately to laugh with, be horrified with or commiserate with. Those are your “go to” people.
Of course, you may have multiple folks you “go to”. Different people for different situations. One person may not work for one thing but will be perfect for something else.
I remember taking the the Second Son to the eye doctor when he was four years old. The doctor basically said he was blind as a bat, would need to wear an eye patch for a while and glasses from then on. As a new mom my first call was to my parents. I still remember my dad answering the phone and he and my mom telling me how cute the Second Son would be wearing little glasses.
Later, when the First Son had one of his first real life lessons, the first person I called was my brother. I still remember standing in the kitchen and hearing his voice.
I have some girlfriends that I’ve known forever. I can tell them a crazy story and I know they will get it completely. And completely understand my craziness.
In April it will be two years since I lost my mother and in July four years since losing my brother. I am missing these “go to” people. There are so, so many times I still want to pick up the phone to go over something one of the boys has said or done, show them a videoed performance, discuss some crazy story on the news, or a funny predicament I’ve gotten myself into.
My parents were my “go to” for certain things. They wanted to hear all the cute things when the boys were little. My dad would chuckle and get choked up at the simplest phrase or story from the Third Son or any of the grandsons. Later, they loved hearing the sports antics, playground stuff and school stories. My mom was my “go to” to listen when someone was sick or I wanted to go over a cooking problem or success.
My brother was a great “go to” for his pure and honest joy over what was happening in my life and his patient and understanding ear if I had a problem. Life is full of ups, downs, and sideways. One of my brother’s favorite sayings was, “it’s all about the stories”. When you have those things that happen to you that you just cannot make up, you have to have someone to tell! You have to have someone who truly shares in the joys, funnies, trials and sorrows of our real lives.
I miss sharing with them. I knew they would laugh with me when I did something ridiculous, get angry alongside me if necessary, be proud of my boys with me, calm me down if I got crazy, and, knowing me, would understand me. I could pick up the phone and share the good, bad and the ugly at any time, day or night.
We need these people. And we need to be “go to” people for others as well. Who are your “go to” people? And who goes to you? Find them and make sure you share with them. Foster those relationships. Appreciate them. Entertain your people with stories, feel their joy with you and their understanding, and do the same for them.
It is an incredibly important role, one that is hard to fill, and one that, if and when gone, will be missed.
Who are your “go to” people? How often do you share with them? Do you have different people for different things, whether it’s good, bad, ugly, funny, ridiculous . . .
*This is not meant to be a depressing post. I am not sad and do not intend to sound maudlin. I was just thinking about who I “go to” to tell stuff and this post created itself! I encourage you to find your “go to” folks and share away. Life is all about those stories!
Enjoy Your Day!