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An Innie or an Outie . . . and I’m not talking bellybuttons

May 7, 2015 by Marla-Deen Brooks Leave a Comment

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I love people.  I love meeting people, connecting with them, listening to them.  I especially love introvertplaying the “where are you from and finding a connection” game.  Most folks think I am a big fat extrovert who hasn’t a shy bone and loves crowds and being with people all the time.  Some of that is true.  I do love being with people.  However, I think that sometimes we are not what we seem.

I do not shy away from speaking in front of crowds and getting in front of a room full of exercise clad folks energizes me.  However, I’m the girl that hates to go to a party alone, refuses to eat in a restaurant alone and is really and truly hesitant about meeting new people and putting myself outside of my comfort zone.  I think I am really an introvert in an extrovert’s body.  Is that possible?  Or can you be both?

I’ve thought a lot about this.  I have a friend who has pegged me exactly on this issue.  She says that she knows that I am, in truth, an introvert, but am thought of as an extrovert.  She is so wise.

Here are some of the signs, based upon things I know about myself.


Being in a motel room alone, reading a book and ordering room service,  sounds like heaven to me.

When I was a runner, I always chose to run alone.  I never understood those folks who had to run with a partner or with groups.

A crowded party full of people I do not know is simply torturous.

When I do attend an event or party, I love it and enjoy every second.  I do want to connect with a few people at such an event.  However, one evening is quite enough.

I am perfectly happy to be by myself and do not feel lonely when I am alone.

I re-energize, get centered and rejuvenated when I am alone.

I’m not sure whether this matters, but I really don’t like talking on the phone.  The Husband will call me all throughout the day . . . and I just can’t figure why he just doesn’t wait to tell  me stuff in person.

I am really uncomfortable entering situations where groups of people have formed.  I’m the girl that will often go sit by herself because I get a little shy with folks I don’t know really well.

But, this is where things get weird.

I love group fitness classes, whether I am leading them or taking them.  I love the people and the energy of a group.

I love being with my friends.

I love talking to people and learning about people.

I love sharing with people and listening to their stories.

I’ve always loved being “on stage” or in front of a group of people.  In my younger years, I could definitely be a bit of a “ham”.

It is a weird mix of being an introvert and extrovert.  I always thought a person was one or the other, but I’m finding that there can be a balance of both traits.  We can give our energy to people and receive energy from people, yet still need some alone time to become re-energized.  We can be completely comfortable in front of a crowd of strangers, but in front of people we know, we can become nervous and shy.  We can love being with people and parties, but crowds and interacting with crowds can also be tiring.

I’ve begun teaching classes at a new studio.  I am so grateful for the opportunity!  I love the space, the owner, the format of classes and just the happy, healthy vibe.  However, I found that I was acquainted with some of the clients and they were “new” to me as far as being in front of them in the fitness arena.  This made me a wee bit nervous as it pushed me outside of my comfort zone.  Of course, that is a good thing.  It makes me step up my game and get over myself.  It would have been much easier staying in the back of the room!

Recently, I spent a glorious day completely by myself.  I took the time to focus on re-energizing and refreshing my mind and thoughts.  It was heaven.  I could easily have surrounded myself with friends, but chose being alone.  Sometimes I have to make myself “get out there” and see folks or I am afraid I will wind up an old woman who has lost her friends because she became a hermit!  I think becoming a hermit would be bad for me . . . .

So, as in all things in life, I think it comes down to balance.  Finding your own balance and keeping it from tipping one way or the other.  Some folks need to make themselves stop and have a little quiet time to themselves while some of us have to make ourselves get out there and be with people, and enjoy the energy and all that other folks have to offer.

It is also about recognizing your own tendencies and those of your friends.  You can’t force someone to be one way or the other.  You can’t force yourself to be one or the other.  What you can do is gently push yourself or a friend to take a step outside of their comfort zone once in a while.  Take a little reach over the introvert or extrovert edge to experience the other side.  A person can be an introvert or extrovert and still share similarities with the other.  Or a person can be one or the other depending on the situation.

I also have a tendency to over analyze things inside my head and over think things at times.  Maybe this is one of those times?

What are your thoughts on this introvert/extrovert thing? Or have you even given it any thought?  Do you look at people as one or the other?  Do you share tendencies of both?  Don’t you think it would be bad for me to become a hermit?

ENJOY YOUR DAY!

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Recently, I began teaching classes at a new studio.  I am used to being in front of a room leading classes with new people and don’t think twice about that.  However, I found myself nervous in this new situation because it was something new and different, and because I knew some of the participants in the classes.  I was nervous in front of them BECAUSE I knew them.

 

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