You see, I thought I deserved it. Over the past three years we’ve had our fair share of family illness, death, more illness and then the type of loss that totally rocks your world and brings you to your knees, but then more illness. We’ve also had those other sad, depressing, and rocky times that are just purely exhausting. I know we all have trials, whether illness, loss, financial struggles, relationship issues, life seems to continually bring challenges. It seems that some folks have more than their fair share. And while I know that we are only given as much as we can handle, sometimes I wonder why some folks are continually forced to carry the weight of mack trucks on their backs. I know there are those that have suffered so much hurt and loss that my issues are piddly. I do know that and am constantly thankful for the many blessings we have had. That being said, I still wanted to have a little Pity Party of my own.
On Friday we had gotten some pretty depressing news on our little mountain cabin. It had been completely destroyed by flooding and mildew. The work and expense involved are simply more than I want to tackle. I had walked around the completely destroyed house and all of the contents and truly mourned the site of so many fun, family memories. Then on Saturday afternoon we found our dear, sweet, always happy and only full of love, little baby girl border terrier, Fresca, dead. I felt completely beat down. So, I began planning my own Pity Party.
However, being the nerd that I am I wondered if a Pity Party was a “real thing”. After lying in the bed proved to be unsatisfactory, I googled the term and was amazed at the hits I got! A Pity Party is a real thing! I could invite all of you and the only criteria is that you couldn’t tell me to “get over it”! You couldn’t stop me from complaining, stomping my foot, yelling or throwing a fit. How perfect is that!! ? And, there were legitimate reasons for having a pity party. Here are some that were listed:
- Fired from your job.
- Bills mounting up too fast to handle.
- Broke up with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
- Your divorce was finalized.
- Your pet died.
- Your in-laws just bought the house next door.
- Everything just seems to be going sideways or on a downslide trajectory with no end in sight.
- Fill in the blank _______________________
Of course, I felt vindicated in throwing myself this party. My sweet baby girl, road trip, sleeping and ballfield companion was no longer with us. Where was the justice in that?? So, looking at the health side of things I was happy to find that “Allowing yourself a few hours or even days of respite before pulling up your bootstraps and taking on the whole world (harsh reality of life) can be a healthy thing.”
In planning the party, there were actually guidelines for the guest list. You are only to invite the “people or the one person in your life who will allow you to be the center of attention and won’t be telling you to “Get over it already!” Doesn’t matter if your party is for two people or a party of more. You are feeling crummy, so only ask the family members or friends who will allow you to rage, wallow, sob, or whatever… without judging you.” “Consider what your needs are in the moment and invite whoever will supply those needs best… be it a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or that special friend who is willing to simply show up and be there for you. And, if they show up with a piping hot pizza and DVD in hand to share with you, all the better.”
How perfect is that? There are even pity party foods and themes for these pity parties! That was just more support for my wallowing. I could have a theme! I could have popcorn, macaroni and cheese, ice cream, wine, whatever sounded good! We could even wear pajamas! There were even suggestions for party games and party favor ideas. However, that was taking it a little too far for even me, though. If you think I’m joshing just take a look here. I loved having healthy support for my planned afternoon of mourning and self pity.
The only problem was that right smack dab in the middle of my pity party I got a phone call with another family emergency. I had to quickly shift gears, pack up my pity party, pack an overnight bag and get back to reality.
I had to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. And that’s life.
Give me your tips for your own strength. Ever felt like a pity party? Did you share? Did your friends love you through? Or tell you to get over yourself? I think there is a time and room for both.
Have a great week. And if you want to throw your own party I’ll come. . . .
Now please bear with me as I share a couple of shots of sweet Fresca who was, as my brother described her, “so ugly she’s cute”. She was the only other girl in our home, always happy, always wiggling her bottom, never grouchy or snappy, pure joy and forever our Frisky Fresca . . .
I totally get where you are coming from. And doesn’t it always seem that whenever you finally decide to have the “pity party” something else comes along and makes you get up and go save the world again??
So glad I’m not alone!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl Fresca, mountain cabin and perfectly legitimate pity party opening. If you decide to reschedule, I will support you. And yes, there are times when life seems to deliver a knock out punch that is especially gut wrenching, yet there is no time to properly or fully mourn what we have lost. Keep smiling, keep on trucking, cry in the car during errands (my best opportunity usually and terribly embarrassing at stop lights) and make time for your girlfriends.
BIG hug, Marla Deen! I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet girl, Fresca. I know that was sad, bad day. I pray all the many happy memories will heal the pain of losing her and bring peace. Keep the faith my sweet friend! xo
Sweet Fresca! She had a lot of personality! I would listen as long as you needed! Pity parties ARE allowed…. Because something does usually happen to make you move on. And that’s a good thing. Talk to friends- they’ll get you through it! Thanks for sharing!