40 Days of. . . Grace

Today is Ash Wednesday.  This means that in my faith, today begins the season of Lent which lasts for 40 days.  It is a time of personal reflection and discernment which ends on Saturday, March 30.  In the past I have given up things for Lent, in the spirit of discipline, things like chocolate, sweets, even watching General Hospital.  (I know, that’s a huge profession on my part!)  During the last couple of years I have switched gears and added things during these 40 days.  I have added daily devotions, kind words and work outs.  In fact, last year my challenge was a push-up challenge.  We began with 10 on this day and added one every day.  At the end, we were doing 50 push-ups a day! http://www.marla-deen-fit.net/3/post/2012/02/40-day-challenge.html You might have done that with me and I’d love for you to do it again this year!

This year, I am doing something a lot more personal and I’m going to share it here.  This is a really big confession for me and the fact that I’m writing it “out loud” is also pretty big.  However, they do say that the best way to reach a goal is to say it out loud.  So, here goes. . . . 

For the next 40 days I am  going turn off, ignore, and turn around the negative thoughts that come into my head about myself.  Since I was a young girl I have had the “body image devil” creep in and out of my life and wreak havoc, causing me to beat myself up over how things look on the outside.  I don’t mean to sound like a whiner.  I am so appreciative of my body and know it is a blessing.  I can run, jump, bend, move and do all the things I need and want to during the day.  I have had this same body for 40 plus years, so one would think I would be comfortable in my skin.  I know I am not competing with the 20-year-old models on the cover of all the magazines or even the young things in my fitness classes!  I know that in my head, but it still doesn’t stop that little devil from swooping in and breathing nasty words about the state of one body part or the other, or flaunt the unattainable goal of perfectionism in front of me, all of which simply make me beat myself up.   

If you have never had the body image devil present in your life or any body image issues, or disordered eating issues, then you might think I sound like a crazy loon.   I even think I sound looney, but it still doesn’t mean I’m not a sucker to it.  

I am hoping this 40 Day Lent Project will turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.  (Here is an example-  body image devil:  My legs surely don’t look as long and lean as I’d like.  Positive thought:  I’m so appreciative that my legs are strong for lunges, jump squats and running 13 miles!) I’m hoping it will go something like that.  

I’m thinking I will have lots of time for all sorts of good, positive thoughts if I don’t have the body image devil harping on me and making me beat myself up!  That leaves more time to think about things that actually matter.  This ol’ physical body isn’t going  with me into eternity but what’s on the inside will always be with me.  It sounds very freeing and easy. . . but I know old habits are hard to break.  I’ll let you know how it goes.

If you have any of the same thoughts, why not join me?  You’ll only have negative thoughts to lose!

Do you celebrate the season of Lent?  Give something up or add something? Thinking I’m just a crazy person?