Tonight I was looking for a book for one of my sons. I went to our small library which I had built to house the overflow of books we accumulate. I had it built, basically, for myself and my oldest son. He shares my love of reading. To say I love to read is an understatement. If you have read some of my posts, I sometimes share what I’ve read or what I am reading. I love to exercise and I love to read. I’m a pretty simple girl.
Growing up, my parents read, my brother read and I read. At night we would often be sitting in our family room, no TV on, but each reading a book. During the summer, at the beach, I can sit for hours in the sun with a book. My brother was the exact same way. We would sit for hours reading and then talking about our books and oftentimes sharing them. Every December, on my brother’s birthday, I would give a book as a present. I loved picking out something I had read and loved, or something I had read about and knew he would like. It was always a fun gift to get and to give.
It has been six months now since my brother passed away. I really missed choosing a book for him in December. I had already decided on the book months ago.
Tonight I was looking for “King Arthur” in our bookcases for our middle son’s school reading. It made me peruse over book titles. This made me think about the books themselves, their stories, and also the background of reading, receiving or giving the books. It made me really sad and nostalgic, but sad, I guess, because it made me feel and miss that connection with my brother. It was such a small thing – looking for a book. How could that make the sadness and loneliness come crashing down so?
I think it’s just that way. It’s the connections we have with people, experiences and memories. These things are the reminders of the memories, the people and the loss.
My oldest son has a boxful of old paperback Louis L’Amour western books. They belonged to my father, then to my brother, and now to my son. He has been reading them non-stop since he got the box last month – sometimes a book a day. I love seeing him holding those books in his hands. What a cool connection from his grandfather and uncle.
I haven’t read the book I was going to give as that December birthday present. However, I am between books now. This might be a good time. I am hoping it will keep me feeling connected.
Hoping you have a great day. Do you get those connections with different objects? Make you laugh or cry? Or both?